


We Fell in Love in a Hopeless Place

by NonsensicalNonsensities



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Crack, Delicious piles of dung, Enemies to Lovers, Humor, Infidelity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Or Is It?, Politics, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonsensicalNonsensities/pseuds/NonsensicalNonsensities
Summary: After an embarrassing debate, Mike Homophobia Pence is given even worse news. There was a fly on his head. The trauma is too much for him to handle causing him to spiral into a depression and the only person that can pull him out is the one fly that he hates the most.
Relationships: Fly (US Politics: 2020 Vice Presidential Debate)/Mike Pence
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	We Fell in Love in a Hopeless Place

**Author's Note:**

> "The greatest gay romance novel of our generation."  
> -The LGBT community
> 
> "Brilliantly plotted and perfectly paced....Engrossing."  
> -John Green
> 
> "I can't wait to play the fly in the upcoming film adaptation!"  
> -Scarlett Johansson
> 
> "I cried."  
> -The Pope
> 
> "It's so refreshing to see good fly representation in fiction these days. 5 stars."  
> -Seth Brundle

# We Fell in Love in a Hopeless Place

> “The best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.”  
>  -Alfiya Shaliheen

It happened in a flash. The most embarrassing moment of Pence’s career but unbeknownst to him it would be the worst and best week of his life.

Right after the debate Pence was utterly downcast as were his aids. He left the stage gliding into the wings of the auditorium to join them. Their faces told him what he already knew. He lost the debate. But in the eyes of the aids, there was something more. A curling clenching fear.

“What?” He asked curtly not in the frame of mind to act civil. His aids began to flitter around manically like minions pensive to give bad news to their master. 

“There was…..” the head aid began but then closed his mouth saying nothing. The unspoken words reverberated in the minds of the aids and, unbeknownst to him, the minds of millions of Americans who witnessed his folly.

Pence slapped him dramatically,” spit it out man!” because all his aids were of course men.

The aid, gathering the small amount of courage that he possessed, blurted the cursed words out, loudly as if expelling some foul poison. “There was a fly, sir! A fly! On your head the whole time!” The aid began to cry pathetically, “I’m so sorry sir.” 

Pence’s world began crashing around him with the facts now laid bare. The auditorium began to spin wildly and one aid turned into two. He then collapsed, his body hitting the floor like a sack of bricks.

On the other side of the auditorium, the fly for his part was on cloud nine. Now $900 richer after being paid by Kamala Harris he celebrated a job well done. Undermining a vice presidential debate was nothing to him. Just another job, not even a challenge for someone of his background.

He carried a tiny fly sized flute of champagne in his one hand and a bountiful array of loose dung sat in front of him. Kamala had spared no expense. With the woman now gone the fly indulged in his ill-gotten gains taking a deep sip with his proboscis, the liquid dripping down the sides of his mouth sensually.

Perhaps it was just chance but as the fly guzzled and flitted about his prize his superior hearing was able to detect a loud thump against the floor on the other side of the auditorium. Normally the fly would ignore such distractions when a meal (and such a lavish one at that) was in front of him, but something caused him to look in the direction of the noise. On the other side of the auditorium, much to the fly’s surprise was the vice president of the united states. His face smooshed against the dirty tiled floors of the auditorium wings.

At first, the fly turned back to his meal thinking that whatever happened after the debate was none of his business. Sure the vice presidents state was more than likely caused by him but his job was over and thus nothing else mattered. But something stopped him from going back to his meal. Something about that vile human being just drew him in. He could feel it the moment his antennae brushed against the man’s body on that bright stage only half an hour before. Maybe it was the corpse pale skin or the hair so slick with oil that it was hardened as if fresh rigor mortis had just set in. And the way he laid on that gross tiled floor was so sensually cadaver-esc that the fly simply had to go to him. 

He flew across the stage valiantly the delicious dung forgotten in favor of this thing that was barely a man. There were several people around him all scrambling and running in circles. The fly quickly took control of the situation and began to bark orders at them.

“You go get me some water, you get a towel and you help me get him up please,” he pointed systematically at the aids and at last at the main aid, “We need to get him somewhere more comfortable!”

“He has a hotel room close by,” the aid whimpered pathetically not sure how to handle politeness.

Together they lifted Pence up and carried him to his hotel room, away from the chaos and the shame.

~~~

Soon the man was looking better. He layed face up on the bed his arms across his chest. To the fly’s eyes, he looked like a dead man propped up in a coffin, absolutely beautiful. The fly averted his gaze choosing instead to feast on the half-eaten donut in the trashcan by the door. As he focused on gorging the delicacy he didn’t notice when Pence began to rise from the bed, his eyes only opening when his top half stood up right.

“Who are you?” He said to the fly, and his voice was like honey and sugar at the bottom of a dumpster. 

The fly shivered but worried about how the man would take the truth. Instead of speaking the fly rose out of the trash can into the vice president’s line of sight. 

The man gasped, “You!” He said pointedly. 

“Yes, it is I,” Said the fly. There was no use beating around the bush.

“You! You! You ruined my life!” Pence yelled at him as he stepped off the bed.  
“I was just doing my job.” the fly said trying to sounds angry but even he could feel how electric the air felt between them.

“You’re just like everyone else! You hate me because you ain’t me!”

“I hated you because that’s what I was paid to do. To hate you, to torment you, to cause your downfall in front of the eyes of the entire American nation.” The fly retorted.

“You think you’re the first!” Pence yelled,” I’ve been hated for a very long time. It’s not easy being a part of Trump’s America okay! Every day more and more people yell at me on the street, saying “we want a democracy” and “stop hating gay people”. But none of them bother to know the real me!” He yelled his eyes now filling with undropped tears.

As the tears began to descend the fly felt for the man. He wasn’t well versed in United States politics preferring instead the far superior flyotics, but even he knew of the vileness of the Republican party. Anyone associated with them would surely be hated by the general public and that constant hatred could affect a person. Turning their own bodies into putrid cesspools of bigotry and corruption. Perhaps that’s what drew him to the man. It wasn’t the carcass like body, or the hair so gelled with product that it was beginning to mold. No, it was his soul so deeply filled with vile and shit that the fly could only hunger for his body on his own.

“Sure I’ve supported conversion therapy,” Pence sat on the bed and went on,” tried to ban marriage equality, taken away funding from HIV prevention funds, proposed a bill to jail same-sex couples, served on a board of a notorious anti-gay group, opposed job protections for gay people, made it more difficult for people in the LGBT+ community to get safe housing, and defended Hitler’s eradication of them in nazi Germany, but people don’t have to be so mean about it!”

The man was such a pile of shit that the fly couldn’t resist him any longer. The insect gazed into the man’s eyes and quietly muttered “I took the job before I even knew who you were… but now everything is different.”

“Do you still hate me?”

The fly didn’t respond only flew onto his upper thigh, their legs brushing up against one another. Soon they were kissing, both unable to curb their budding desires for one another. But just as quickly as it started it stopped. Pence pushed the fly away and shook his head.

“We can’t I’m married. My wife, Mother, will be devastated if she finds out.”

“Then we’ll keep it a secret. I promise you this my love, that my presence will never cause you pain or torment. It will only ever bring you the loving tenderness that you have always secretly craved.” The fly’s antennae brushed Pence’s arm and he gasped with the contact.

“I’ve…… never been with a man...”

“Flies actually determine their gender through a doublesex gene that can turn off and on at different times in our life cycle. So while I am sometimes male I am also neither gender at different times of my life. Additionally, even when that gene is activated it is next to impossible to determine the difference in male and female fly genitalia until pregnancy.”

“Well, that sounds like liberal propaganda to me.” He said his eyes filling with lust.

“How about I change your mind and propagate you instead?” the fly said and pushed Pence back roughly into the bed. He gasped as the fly invaded his mouth but quickly gave in to the pleasure that was building up inside of him.

Their lovemaking was passionate and intense. Proboscis touching mouths, and hands touching tubular organs. And as they shared in post-orgasmic bliss they gazed into each other’s eyes and knew: This was the real thing: Love.

~~~~

Their romance was a whirlwind. Lovemaking, trips to Rome and France, and more lovemaking. It was two weeks of pure bliss. Until tragedy struck. 

They had both known it was coming. Flies only live 28 days after all. But in the hospital room Pence sat at the edge of the tiny bed with his head in his hands. The doctor entered and stood at the other end of the room. Pence looked up but when the doctor shook his head he knew. This was their final day together.

And so Pence took the fly’s hand and began to speak, “I will follow you, as lovers do. Into that darkness my love.”

And together, the fly having lived his long full life, and Pence having been able to live for the first time, their journey came to an end together, always together.


End file.
